Spending Time with Yourself

One of the hardest things for people to do these days is to sit alone without any distractions listening to the sounds of their own thoughts. It's actually pretty frightening to think about where your mind will travel to when you're left alone. The possibility of all your insecurities and fears creeping up on you from the darkest corners of your mind. The possibility you might even realize you love yourself a little more than you portray. Are you content with where you stand in your life? Have you succeeded or failed? Have you accomplished more or less than you expected to? Who are your true friends? Will anyone notice if you just stopped showing up? Are you as a human being enough with just your personality? What defines you in other peoples eyes? Are people scared to be upfront and real with you? So many possibilities of questions than can swirl through your mind. So many answers you may be unsure of. It's absolutely terrifying. I think we're all just scared to realize how much we don't know ourselves. Maybe it's even we're so used to being looked at a certain way, we may start to see we deserve and are better. When people compliment you, do you believe them? Do you believe you are lovable, worthy, beautiful, unique? Do you think you're good company or a Debbie downer? Something I started doing a little while ago was spending time with myself and my thoughts. Not trying to control my thoughts or redirect where they go. I just sit down, breathe, and let my mind wander. I realized I can never be the best version of myself or attain what I'm supposed to in life unless I'm comfortable being by myself. The most contradictory thing about me is that I'm scared to be alone with myself but I love being independent. I love tackling things on my own and caring for myself. The second it comes down to being alone without any distractions or things to tackles I try to avoid it. Since I started really exploring my mind, I've been able to work on things about myself I didn't fully love. I learned what triggers certain character traits I'm not necessarily proud of which has helped me stop those behaviors in their tracks. Let's be real for a second, I'm not amazing at any of this. Some days I still lose my cool and avoid my own thoughts. Now, I am able to see the importance and benefit of what happens once I allow myself to. Its hard to do, scary, and you will feel extremely vulnerable. One thing I'm sure of, it's worth it.