RACHEL SARA SAFER @MODESTISTHENEWBLACK
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The Closed Door

1/9/2019

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We all have dreams. Some people's dreams come to them on a silver platter while other people face obstacles and countless closed doors. In real life, when a door is closed, what do you do? Turn the knob to open it, use a key, punch in a code, ring a bell, push or pull it open. We do this with such ease... unless you have a million keys or pull a door that clearly says push!! Why is it that when we approach a theoretical closed door we freeze? Why is that door unable to be opened? Why do we act like we shouldn't be walking straight in like we own the place? 
On the other side of our closed doors are usually our dreams, changes, the answer to a big question. We so badly want to be on the other side of the door but we stall. We just stop in motion a lot of the time. Is it fear? Is it that we question if we are worthy enough to cross the threshold? Are we questioning if we should wait for the door to open on its own? From personal experience, I have never gotten what I actually wanted without pushing through that door. I have never gotten the things that make me truly happy by standing & waiting for the door to open by itself. Have I always been sure of myself? Absolutely not. I'm not even sure where I'm going with this! Have I always felt worthy of pushing that door open? No. In the end I realized that the only person in my way was MYSELF. How could I dream up so many wonderful things for myself and then fear to chase them? I made a decision a while ago that I wouldn't let fear decide for me. I liked my Husband when we were in High School and had no problem telling any guy who asked me who I liked. "Who do you like?" "I like Mo." "He doesn't like you. I like you though." "Lovely, I like Mo. He'll come around. I'm not worried." I made it very clear to Mo that I liked him a lot over the years. Look at me now! I interned for an Interior Design company in High School and was so sick of doing the coffee run work. Whenever I saw the designers working with clients I put on a smile, brought them books with secret sticky notes placed on the items I thought they would love, and soon after my shenanigans were noticed I was asked to help with projects. One of my favorite was helping the owner design their bedroom in their new home. I was rejected from a job opportunity I really wanted and was super bummed about it. I was told I didn't have the experience they were looking for. It was true! I really didn't know anything but I wanted this job because it paid well and seemed really fun. I called up the person in charge of hiring and asked him a simple question "How am I or anyone else you're interviewing supposed to just have the experience you are looking for if you aren't willing to train? We are the next generation. If nobody is willing to properly train us, all your hard work will be for nothing when it's our time to take over." He sat down and said "Now that is an extremely valid point. That is also the fire we were looking for. If you want the job, it's yours." I ended up declining it, but I was happy to push my way through that door. 
You aren't required to take every opportunity on the other side of  your personal door. Without pushing through the door, you will never know what's on the other side to choose from. Life does get scary, the unknown is terrifying to many people. Whats worse than being scared? Letting that fear run your life & control how you live. Will you live in fear from chasing your dreams or will you LIVE because you are chasing your dreams? Push, pull, knock, ring the bell, say a secret password but if it doesn't open know you are strong enough to kick that door down if you really want to. 
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  • About
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